This is a gossipy saga of love, drama, cheating and karma between Universities, which may or may not resemble real life events. (Who am I kidding?).

Suggestion: Read with a friend for the best reactions and maximum enjoyment.

Warning: Do not try at home as these actions subscribe to the ‘Stay Toxic’ mentality.

It all starts on a day where the students of UNI-N are in high spirits. A friendly basketball match with the students of UNI-B has been organised on home-ground. The UNI-B students arrive, and here the story begins. While the boys teams from both the colleges battle it out, two UNI-N girlfriends, Alex and Haley, have their eyes on some boys from the UNI-B basketball team. They don’t know the rollercoaster ride they are in for, especially since this started out mainly as a way to gain some confidence and flirt for fun. After the match is over and the UNI-B team has won (unfortunately), Alex and Haley (the dynamic duo, if you will) on a mission, decide to interact with the boys who have caught their eyes. For Haley, it is two boys she cannot decide between: who will it be – the taller Dylan or the shorter Andy? For Alex, it is the fated captain of the UNI-B basketball team, Bill. Alex and Haley, hence, engage cautiously, but optimistically in frivolous banter with their respective preys. 

While Alex converses with Bill, Haley begins to become more and more sure upon increased interaction that Andy is the better pick (I mean, he is cuter). However, she still gets Dylan’s Instagram and messages him (remember ladies, never keep all your eggs in one basket) upon hearing from him that he is indeed single. However, right when Andy is about to leave, she asks for his number too, and the man volunteers it with a wink. 

For the next couple of days, conversation between Andy and Haley is booming, ranging from mundane daily updates, deep conversations to heavy flirting and banter. It goes past the point of flirting and enters territory which would definitely be deemed dangerous, as well (non-veg, ladies, non-veg). They might even have met in the city the day after the basketball match had it not been for unfortunate timing that had them missing each other by 10 minutes. Haley develops a crush and has gushed about this man to her friends excessively (which she will be incredibly embarrassed about in the future, because, ew boys, right?). 

But suddenly, Andy stops texting her and Haley being Haley, angry that she has shown interest and given up control (how dare she not stay true to her femme fatality?), messages Dylan again. She gets to know he has a girlfriend after proposing the idea of visiting UNI-B due to which he panicked and revealed the truth. She immediately shuts down the conversation (because where do men get the audacity?). Haley continues to work and study, eliminating this turn of events from her mind for the time being. Alex, on the other hand, has made plans with Bill to meet him at his university and suggests to Haley that she message Andy about meeting him at the same time that Bill and Alex meet. However, when, reluctantly, Haley messages Andy, he says he will be busy the next day and behaves suspiciously. She brushes it off. 

The evening Alex and Bill meet and Alex is back to regale her girlfriends of the events of the evening when everything falls into place. When Alex and Bill were on their silly little (cute, nonetheless) date in the utterly romance-less steely, corporate-looking UNI-B Mess, a Gorgeous Woman walks in. Bill waves to her and explains to Alex that Gorgeous Woman is Andy’s off-campus girlfriend. Gorgeous Woman also happens to be an international sports champion, and among other things, way, way, way out of Andy’s league. 

This information gives Haley the shock of her life, who feels incredibly guilty for being party to Andy’s cheating and lying. Bill, who has been a great informer and has helped the entire time, says he will confront him about the girlfriend and about lying about having lifting practice twice a week (“Does Andy look like he lifts anything at all?” laughed Bill). Andy has been in trouble with his girlfriend for his sleazy behaviour previously too (they never learn, do they?). Andy’s lies might finally come out and his world shall crumble. 

From this we learn to not trust boys, never open up about feelings, and never express genuine interest because it will simply come to bite you in the ass and future-you would rather not deal with the embarrassment. Simply be a cold-hearted, hot-bodied bitch. 

Remember ladies, germs and others, #StayToxic.


XOXO,

Lady WhistleFrown & Gossip Curl

By Fiddler